There would be no more days like that

rainbow

Five years have passed. I remember it like it was today. Seeing her euphoric waking up as if she knew that those were her last steps.

Put on her bikini and fixed her wavy hair that was sun bleached from the beach. She made coffee, woke her friends and explained that it was a beautiful day in May and they should enjoy every sun ray. There would be no more days like that. after that day it would be cold, windy, and cloudy at the beach. That was how she saw the winter. And unbeknownst to her that was how the days would become. Even though the winter was over and spring flourished with the most beautiful colors, in her world everything was translated into black and white. The black from the past that moves away at a speed unjust, detaches from the soul memories without the slightest sense.

Arcobaleno di luciLeaving only a scent of what once was. That one day went. In this body I’m not. I’ll never be. As much as dreams are preserved they try to keep alive part of my essence. There are two lives into one. There are two of me and the biggest challenge in life is dealing with longing for myself. It is the most difficult and most incomprehensible part within a single person. That much I can explain but never understand. Black is the absence of light resting from the mixture of all colors. My rainbow is overshadowed .

I was this: many in one . It was light I wanted. I was in a hurry to live. It now remains white uniting all colors and reflects many light rays but doesn’t absorb any. Showing only it’s maximum clarity : the raw target unknown. Ironically, it has all the colors but can’t be any of them. Be everything and nothing at the same time in the same body. Black, shapeless, and flawed is the most perfect translation of what I was. Today my raw form consists of everything but only reflects what you see in me.

Cure Girl Sabrina

“Love” after Spinal Cord Injury

WE WANT TO BREAK FREE

How do I feel when you’re near me, my love? My heart is beating and my mind thinks about how it would be nice to make love with you. But then what?

You move closer to me and kiss me. I wish that I could be free to move but I can’t.

While every other woman would let go, my mind screams: “Hope my bladder doesn’t leak and face embarrassment. Uhm.. I have to stop him and tell him I have to catheterize first but I should expect to undress me before?”.

It is humiliating and isn’t sexy.

Then I try to convince myself: “We’ll just have to get used to the idea if we want to stay together”.

Passion? My passion is blurred, all my mind can do is worry. I don’t feel anything…Not even a caress… I hate it that I can’t even feel my partner’s hands caressing my skin.

A Cure Girl in Love

“L’amore” dopo una Lesione Spinale

WE WANT TO BREAK FREE

Come mi sento quando sei vicino a me,  amore mio? Il mio cuore batte e la mia mente pensa a come sarebbe bello fare l’amore con te. Ma poi? Tu mi vieni vicino, mi baci e vorrei  poter essere libera di muovermi, ma non posso.

E mentre ogni altra donna si sarebbe lasciata andare, invece la mia mente urla: “Spero che la mia vescica non perda e non mi metta  in imbarazzo … Uhm, devo fermarlo e dirgli che prima di fare l’amore devo fare il cateterismo..Ma devo aspettare  che mi spogli prima? ”

È umiliante e non è sexy.

Poi cerco di autoconvincermi: “Dovremo entrambi abituarci all’idea, se vogliamo stare insieme”.

Passione? La mia passione è offuscata, la mia mente non può fare a meno di preoccuparsi. Non sento niente .. Nemmeno una carezza .. Odio non sentire le sue mani che accarezzano la mia pelle!”.

Una Cure Girl Innamorata

Why not?

Why not?

There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask: “Why?”

 I dream of things that never were, and ask: “Why not?”

Robert Kennedy

Perchè no?

Why not?

C’è chi guarda alle cose come sono e si chiede:”Perché?”
Io penso a come potrebbero essere e mi chiedo: “Perché no?”

Robert Kennedy

NEVER GIVE UP!

NEVER GIVE UP

Do what’s right, not what’s easy!

Cure Girl Lolly at the “Miami Project to Cure Paralysis”

Miami Project

The first time I ever visited Miami was before my injury. I went there on holiday and was partying hard and dancing on all the bars in South Beach, having the time of my life.
It’s kind of ironic that this was one of the first places I visited after my spinal cord injury in 2004. I visited the Brucker Biofeedback Centre for biofeedback treatment over a course of three weeks. I also was eager to visit The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis.

M.P. R. C.
The Miami Project is one of the biggest research centres in the world for spinal cord injury. They work closely with Spinal Research UK too.
It’s such an inspiring place for me to visit as there are so many positive people doing so much to find a cure for us.
I first became friends with Kim Anderson, a researcher at the Miami Project about five years ago. Kim too is a tetraplegic like me. She had her injury quite a few years ago and got so involved with SCI research that she studied it and now is one of the top researchers at the Miami Project. She is such an inspiration to me and a really lovely lady.

LOLLY AND KIM

Kim and I spoke about the progress of the clinical trials which are taking place now on acute injuries at the MP. She said that if these are successful they will eventually be carried out on chronics. All going well so far but both of us agree that we are very excited about other trials taking part on chronics.
She also mentioned that this is the most exciting time she has ever known with the work being done all over the world.

THERE REALLY IS HOPE… NOT ‘IF’ BUT WHEN.

Cure Girl Lolly

Cure Girl Sabrina: “We have a FREE soul in a CLOSED body”.

LIKE FOR SPINAL CORD INJURY CURE

SABRINA FERRIHi! I’m Sabrina from Brazil and I’m a Cure Girl. I met Loredana after a little “joke” on Facebook: I put a photo with other wheelchair girls seeking 50.000 “likes” to the cure of Chronic Spinal Cord Injury! It’s not a big deal, but after that I could meet some girls that share the same big dream that I have: The CURE for Chronic Spinal Cord Injury.

It was on may 2008. One day I fell off a swing that simulates surf in the air. I had always been an atlethic girl but in few seconds I became totally paralyzed shoulders down.

I work, do fisiotherapy  travel, but I need somebody 24h by my side, it’s unworthy and only I can feel this pain.

Since then, I have a dream: Find a CURE to SCI. It’s not just for me, It’s for the future, for everybody. We need to show to the world how important It is to find a CURE FOR PARALYSIS.

Just In Brazil we have 11.000 new injuries per year, people who lose their independence and their dignity.Sabrina's fisiotherapy

Nobody deserves to live in a wheelchair. The world needs to know about our reality, we are not heros or the strongest person that you know but we have a free soul in a closed body. We wanna change this and we are fighting for it.

The future for Spinal cord Injury is a cure.

“If you don’t live for anything you’ll die for nothing”.

SABRINA I'M A CURE GIRLCure Girl Sabrina

Cure Girl Sabrina: “Abbiamo un’anima libera imprigionata in un corpo”

LIKE FOR SPINAL CORD INJURY CURE

SABRINA FERRIHi! Sono Sabrina, abito in Brasile e sono una Cure Girl. Ho conosciuto Loredana, dopo aver lanciato una piccola “provocazione” su Facebook. Ho postato una foto in cui io e altre ragazze disabili chiedevamo di raggiungere 50.000 “mi piace” per la CURA delle lesioni al midollo spinale! Non è stata una gran cosa, ma grazie a questo, ho potuto incontrare alcune ragazze che condividono il mio stesso grande sogno: Una CURA per le Lesioni Spinali Croniche.

Nel maggio del 2008, sono caduta da “un’altalena” che simula il surf ma in aria. Ero sempre stata una ragazza atletica ma in pochi secondi sono diventata totalmente paralizzata dalle spalle in giù.  Io lavoro, viaggio, faccio fisioterapia, ma ho bisogno che qualcuno stia al mio fianco 24 ore su 24, è indegno e solo io posso sentire questo doloreSabrina's fisiotherapy.

Da allora, ho un sogno: che si trovi una CURA per le Lesioni Spinali Croniche.

Non è solo per me, è per il futuro, è per tutti. C’è bisogno di mostrare al mondo quanto sia importante trovare una CURA per la PARALISI.

Solo in Brasile abbiamo 11.000 nuovi casi l’anno; tutte persone che in un attimo perdono la loro indipendenza e la loro dignità. Nessuno merita di vivere in una sedia a rotelle.

Il mondo ha bisogno di conoscere la nostra realtà, non siamo eroi o persone estremamente forti, ma abbiamo un’anima libera imprigionata in un corpo. Vogliamo cambiare tutto questo e stiamo lottando per riuscirci.

La Cura è il futuro per le Lesioni Spinali.

“Se non vivi per qualcosa, morirai per niente”.

SABRINA I'M A CURE GIRLLa vostra Cure Girl Sabrina

LOLLY’S SKYDIVE FOR SPINAL RESEARCH

FLYYesterday I did my skydive for Spinal Research UK and Back Up. I’m still pretty speechless over the whole experience. It was a very early start, waking up at 4.30 am. I went to catch the train at 7am along with with the support of my family and friends. Arrived at Sibson Airfield in Peterborough at 8am. Headed to the Jumpers Registration office and met all the lovely professional people who were working there doing the jumps.

My professional tandem jumper was a lovely guy called Chris. Immediately I felt that I could trust him, he has done over 8,000 jumps.

Lolly and Chris

I was the on the third plane to be taken up… the wait for this felt like a lifetime but was only a couple of hours.
Then.. that was it.. I WAS NEXT.. EEEEKKKK!!!!! I didn’t feel nervous just very excited as I’ve wanted to do this for many years now.. way before my injury. I was lifted in the plane by the team and that’s when I got strapped onto Chris.

GO LOLLY GO!The plane was going higher and higher.. three miles UP in the air around 15,000 ft. We got higher than the clouds and that is when I started feeling nervous. The shutter then opened and Chris and I sat on the edge with our legs hanging out of the plane.. then WOW out we went. What a feeling it was free falling through the sky and the clouds. Finally the parachute opened and we were gliding through the sky and looking down at the world which felt surreal.

LOLLY SKYDIVE CERTIFICATE

My first feeling of complete freedom since my injury. On landing it was great seeing the faces of my family and friends as they looked relieved I was ok. I raised just over £3,000 for Spinal Research and Back Up. Thank you to everyone who has sponsored and supported me. I really cannot put into words how grateful I am.

Lots of love from Cure Girl Lolly [the new complete adrenaline junkie!!!] x

Read more:

http://lollymack.com/

http://www.spinal-research.org/