There would be no more days like that

rainbow

Five years have passed. I remember it like it was today. Seeing her euphoric waking up as if she knew that those were her last steps.

Put on her bikini and fixed her wavy hair that was sun bleached from the beach. She made coffee, woke her friends and explained that it was a beautiful day in May and they should enjoy every sun ray. There would be no more days like that. after that day it would be cold, windy, and cloudy at the beach. That was how she saw the winter. And unbeknownst to her that was how the days would become. Even though the winter was over and spring flourished with the most beautiful colors, in her world everything was translated into black and white. The black from the past that moves away at a speed unjust, detaches from the soul memories without the slightest sense.

Arcobaleno di luciLeaving only a scent of what once was. That one day went. In this body I’m not. I’ll never be. As much as dreams are preserved they try to keep alive part of my essence. There are two lives into one. There are two of me and the biggest challenge in life is dealing with longing for myself. It is the most difficult and most incomprehensible part within a single person. That much I can explain but never understand. Black is the absence of light resting from the mixture of all colors. My rainbow is overshadowed .

I was this: many in one . It was light I wanted. I was in a hurry to live. It now remains white uniting all colors and reflects many light rays but doesn’t absorb any. Showing only it’s maximum clarity : the raw target unknown. Ironically, it has all the colors but can’t be any of them. Be everything and nothing at the same time in the same body. Black, shapeless, and flawed is the most perfect translation of what I was. Today my raw form consists of everything but only reflects what you see in me.

Cure Girl Sabrina

Não haveria dia como aquele

rainbow

Cinco anos se passaram. Eu lembro como se fosse hoje de tê-la visto acordar eufórica como se soubesse que aqueles eram seus últimos passos.

Colocou biquíni, arrumou o cabelo ondulado e queimado da praia, fez o café, acordou as amigas, explicou que era um lindo dia de maio e que devia ser aproveitado cada raio de sol. Não haveria dia como aquele. Depois só frio, praia com vento e dias nublados. Eraassim que ela via o inverno. E sem que ela soubesse foi assim que os dias se tornaram. Mesmo que o inverno terminasse e na primavera florescessem as mais belas cores, no seu mundo tudo era traduzido em preto e branco.

O preto do passado, que se distancia numa velocidade injusta, que se desprende da alma, das memórias, sem a menor sensatez, deixando só um perfume daquilo que um dia foi. Daquela que um dia fui. Em corpo essa não sou mais eu. Nunca mais serei. Por mais que se preservem sonhos, que tente se manter viva parte da minha essência, há duas vidas em uma, são duas de mim e o maior desafio na vida é lidar com a saudade de mim mesma.

Arcobaleno di luciÉ a parte mais difícil e a parte mais incompreensível dentro de uma só pessoa, que por mais que eu explique nunca se entenderá. O preto é a ausência de luz decorrente da mistura de todas as cores. O meu arco-íris ofuscado. Eu era isso: muitas em uma só, não era luz que eu queria. Eu tinha pressa em viver.

Resta agora o branco que faz junção de todas as cores mas reflete tantos raios luminosos que acaba por não absorver nenhuma, mostrando apenas sua clareza máxima: o cru, o alvo, o desconhecido. Irônico ter todas as cores mas não poder ser nenhuma. Ser tudo e nada ao mesmo tempo em um mesmo corpo. Aquele preto, imperfeito e disforme foi a mais perfeita tradução do que fui. Hoje minha forma crua é composta de tudo mas reflete apenas o que você em mim vê.

Cure Girls Sabrina

“Love” after Spinal Cord Injury

WE WANT TO BREAK FREE

How do I feel when you’re near me, my love? My heart is beating and my mind thinks about how it would be nice to make love with you. But then what?

You move closer to me and kiss me. I wish that I could be free to move but I can’t.

While every other woman would let go, my mind screams: “Hope my bladder doesn’t leak and face embarrassment. Uhm.. I have to stop him and tell him I have to catheterize first but I should expect to undress me before?”.

It is humiliating and isn’t sexy.

Then I try to convince myself: “We’ll just have to get used to the idea if we want to stay together”.

Passion? My passion is blurred, all my mind can do is worry. I don’t feel anything…Not even a caress… I hate it that I can’t even feel my partner’s hands caressing my skin.

A Cure Girl in Love

“L’amore” dopo una Lesione Spinale

WE WANT TO BREAK FREE

Come mi sento quando sei vicino a me,  amore mio? Il mio cuore batte e la mia mente pensa a come sarebbe bello fare l’amore con te. Ma poi? Tu mi vieni vicino, mi baci e vorrei  poter essere libera di muovermi, ma non posso.

E mentre ogni altra donna si sarebbe lasciata andare, invece la mia mente urla: “Spero che la mia vescica non perda e non mi metta  in imbarazzo … Uhm, devo fermarlo e dirgli che prima di fare l’amore devo fare il cateterismo..Ma devo aspettare  che mi spogli prima? ”

È umiliante e non è sexy.

Poi cerco di autoconvincermi: “Dovremo entrambi abituarci all’idea, se vogliamo stare insieme”.

Passione? La mia passione è offuscata, la mia mente non può fare a meno di preoccuparsi. Non sento niente .. Nemmeno una carezza .. Odio non sentire le sue mani che accarezzano la mia pelle!”.

Una Cure Girl Innamorata

Why not?

Why not?

There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask: “Why?”

 I dream of things that never were, and ask: “Why not?”

Robert Kennedy

Perchè no?

Why not?

C’è chi guarda alle cose come sono e si chiede:”Perché?”
Io penso a come potrebbero essere e mi chiedo: “Perché no?”

Robert Kennedy

NEVER GIVE UP!

NEVER GIVE UP

Do what’s right, not what’s easy!

Cure Girl Lolly at the “Miami Project to Cure Paralysis”

Miami Project

The first time I ever visited Miami was before my injury. I went there on holiday and was partying hard and dancing on all the bars in South Beach, having the time of my life.
It’s kind of ironic that this was one of the first places I visited after my spinal cord injury in 2004. I visited the Brucker Biofeedback Centre for biofeedback treatment over a course of three weeks. I also was eager to visit The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis.

M.P. R. C.
The Miami Project is one of the biggest research centres in the world for spinal cord injury. They work closely with Spinal Research UK too.
It’s such an inspiring place for me to visit as there are so many positive people doing so much to find a cure for us.
I first became friends with Kim Anderson, a researcher at the Miami Project about five years ago. Kim too is a tetraplegic like me. She had her injury quite a few years ago and got so involved with SCI research that she studied it and now is one of the top researchers at the Miami Project. She is such an inspiration to me and a really lovely lady.

LOLLY AND KIM

Kim and I spoke about the progress of the clinical trials which are taking place now on acute injuries at the MP. She said that if these are successful they will eventually be carried out on chronics. All going well so far but both of us agree that we are very excited about other trials taking part on chronics.
She also mentioned that this is the most exciting time she has ever known with the work being done all over the world.

THERE REALLY IS HOPE… NOT ‘IF’ BUT WHEN.

Cure Girl Lolly

La nostra Cure Girl Lolly in visita al “Miami Project to Cure Paralysis”

Miami Project

La prima volta che ho visitato Miami fu prima della mia lesione. Sono andata lì in vacanza ho festeggiato e ballato in tutti i bar di South Beach, mi godevo la vita.

È un po’ ironico che questo sia stato uno dei primi posti che ho visitato dopo il mio trauma al midollo spinale nel 2004. Sono stata al Centro Biofeedback Brucker biofeedback più di tre settimane. Ed ero desiderosa di visitare il Miami Project to Cure Paralysis.

Il Miami Project è uno dei più grandi centri di ricerca sulle lesioni del midollo spinale di tutto il mondo. Collabora anche con Spinal Research UK.The Miami Project Center

E’ un luogo di ispirazione per me, ho incontrato tante persone positive che fanno così tanto per trovare una cura per noi.

Ho fatto amicizia con Kim Anderson, ricercatrice presso il Miami Project, circa cinque anni fa. Kim è tetraplegica come me. Lo è diventata parecchi anni fa, ha studiato ed è diventata esperta di ricerca sulle lesioni spinali ed ora è uno dei migliori ricercatori del Miami Project. Lei è una tale fonte di ispirazione per me ed è una donna davvero incantevole.

LOLLY AND KIMKim mi ha parlato dei progressi degli studi clinici che si stanno svolgendo attualmente sulle lesioni acute al Miami Project. Mi ha confermato che se avranno successo si procederà con le lesioni croniche. Finora tutto procede bene, ma entrambe concordiamo nel dire che siamo molto entusiaste per gli altri studi, quelli a cui prenderanno parte persone con lesioni spinali croniche.
Kim ha anche affermato che questo è il momento più emozionante che abbia mai conosciuto, visti i “lavori in corso” in tutto il mondo.

Ora c’è realmente speranza … Non si tratta di SE, ma di QUANDO!

La vostra Cure Girl Lolly

Cure Girl Sabrina: “We have a FREE soul in a CLOSED body”.

LIKE FOR SPINAL CORD INJURY CURE

SABRINA FERRIHi! I’m Sabrina from Brazil and I’m a Cure Girl. I met Loredana after a little “joke” on Facebook: I put a photo with other wheelchair girls seeking 50.000 “likes” to the cure of Chronic Spinal Cord Injury! It’s not a big deal, but after that I could meet some girls that share the same big dream that I have: The CURE for Chronic Spinal Cord Injury.

It was on may 2008. One day I fell off a swing that simulates surf in the air. I had always been an atlethic girl but in few seconds I became totally paralyzed shoulders down.

I work, do fisiotherapy  travel, but I need somebody 24h by my side, it’s unworthy and only I can feel this pain.

Since then, I have a dream: Find a CURE to SCI. It’s not just for me, It’s for the future, for everybody. We need to show to the world how important It is to find a CURE FOR PARALYSIS.

Just In Brazil we have 11.000 new injuries per year, people who lose their independence and their dignity.Sabrina's fisiotherapy

Nobody deserves to live in a wheelchair. The world needs to know about our reality, we are not heros or the strongest person that you know but we have a free soul in a closed body. We wanna change this and we are fighting for it.

The future for Spinal cord Injury is a cure.

“If you don’t live for anything you’ll die for nothing”.

SABRINA I'M A CURE GIRLCure Girl Sabrina